HW 57 - Parenting 101

I think there are several parenting skills. Parents are always labeled in two ways, either bad or good. Parenting skills are usually picked up from their own parents. Its not a stereotype thing tying into ethnicity. Some parents choose to hit their kids, but look down on those who put their own on leashes. Then those who put their kids on leashes frown upon those who physically abuse them. In my eyes, i think the leash is more morally wrong. It resembles dogs. I think kids are hit less often when their is two parent figures in their lives. And a "loving home" to come home to each night. If ever it were a single parent struggling not just financially, but by a way of connecting with their kids, they have to act as both parent figures, the mom/dad. They have to resort to violence or even threats to keep a superior stature alive in their household. In my personal life, i guess the best parenting i was exposed to with my own parents were whenever i was rewarded. Thats always good for a kid. But its not good to reward them when obviously they deserve the opposite. I think its important for kids to be surrounded by grandparents. That is because grandparents care for their grandchildren much differently then they did their own children. It is they're one chance to spoil them evenly. Even though my grandmother was different from what im imagining. Im pretty sure she hated visits from us. At least, until my grandfather passed away. THen it was just her. Obviously its wrong to abuse your children in public. So if ever i were put in that position, id wait until we got home and punish them. i would hit my own kids. But i wouldnt beat them to a pulp! thats morally wrong in so many ways. But getting the message out definately helps too. No books were read in my family. Truthfully, thats for first time parents that concern way too many things that shouldnt be stressed. Parents pretty much just read previous family's parenting skills and steal that with some tweeks of their own. Its funny how every generation of parents always say "you got it good" or "back then it was worse". Naybe thats because over time the parents are getting lighter on enforcement. Or maybe the tantrums and acting up that kids then went through, we have way more electronics to distract us from that.

"I simply had to present my child with endless choices throughout the day- choices I was comfortable with (red sippy cup or yellow? Story first or bath first? Bedtime now or in 5 minutes?). This would help them feel in control and empowered, and when it was time for Mommy to take charge and make a decision, they would go along, because of all the choices they already had."

A little quote i found from the article bashing the "Love and Logic" book. Based on the advice given from L&L, it sounds pretty fair and maybe even do-able. Unfortunately, the woman fortunate enough to try and respond to its tactics have a few words of advice for skeptical parents.

"The problem is that my children must not have read the book. They do not respond the way the book says they will. Giving them endless choices has made my life much, much harder."

That sounds even more believeable. Those authors who write these novels trying to help "underachiever" parents are the same ones who magically wound up with the most innocent child ever. Also, they probably only have ONE child of their own. SO to win the battle of parenting against just one child, the odds are pretty even. What about those who have to fight against two or even three each morning/afternoon/night?