HW 31 - Exploring methods/Aggrandizing the self

I had remembered once that a friend of mine, this girl from school, had mentioned she didnt really take an interest in another girl. Basically, she disliked her. And it wasnt just anyone. It was a girl that was my friend too, one who i never really thought had problems with the other girls. I asked why, and she responded with, "just look at her! dont you think she is fake?" and when she said that, i thought about it for a second. Not thinking about whether she was fake or not, but just that the reality of it was, I was probably closer to the other girl and responded to her better and could relate more to the other one, with some things in common. So if me and the other girl were more alike than the other one, did that make me fake to her as well? of course i didnt bring this up to her. She was slandering another girl who wasnt cool to her, in her eyes, while remaining in the role in which she already started playing as a mean person, which was what seemed cool in her eyes. Obviously, in my eyes, i didnt think that was cool and that the exact opposite (if i had to choose) was cooler then the other. It also could have been that i felt sorry for her and she seemed to be cooler at that very moment.

Sometimes i can be the same way i realized. Ill jokingly put others down, in hopes of being viewed as cooler then the one being slammed. And whether i am jokingly the one being out down, by a friend lets say, ill strike back in order to bring up my chances of competing for the "whos cooler" competition. Without even realizing this can all happen. I can robotically makje actions, based on what i have been doing for years. Another thing about myself, pertaining to the same scenario, is when a group of people are ganging up on one person, who is obviously viewed as uncool, but the group, as a whole, may seem cool for the moment due to their actions, are seen to everyone as hilarious and momentarily cool. When i witness things like that, i jump into a role where i am the only one who doesnt find this cool, and will speak against those who are, because ill find myself (in my head) to be socially acceptable as a coolperson, whos opinion is respected. What i didnt realize from the beginning, is that i too can easily become the jerk on the other side, and when i choose to not be it is what i believe to be the cool thing to do at the moment. Jumping roles.