Wednesday, November 4, 2009

HW 19 - draft comments

kiana...

Your draft is very strong i can only imagine how your actual paper will turn out. you included alot of background research on your arguments, which you connected to the next. If i had to throw advice your way, id have to mention the part where you talked about your conversation with Cotto, it seemed as though you went from researched argument to a personal sided argument, it flowed almost as if you started free-writing. Other than that i enjoyed your draft very much. Keep up the good work.

Stephanie...

I like your paper. Your interpretation of what is going on in Wall-E the movie was good. The quote you chose from Feed was good because it connected to your thesis and also your other arguments including Wall-E movie and the book "everything bad is good for you". It seems as though you are on top of your game and are ready to start on the actual paper. Good work.

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